<![CDATA[Boss Of Me - BOM411 - Blog]]>Fri, 17 May 2013 14:23:58 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Love Me From a Distance]]>Wed, 15 May 2013 22:22:20 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/05/love-me-from-a-distance.htmlPicture
by Rayana Godfrey

If you'd asked my opinion on long-distance relationships a few years ago, my answer would've been something along the lines of, "they never work." I would probably laugh in your face, and go on with my day. 

As harsh as that sounds, I thought I was right. I believed that attempting to dedicate yourself to someone you couldn't see frequently was a very foolish idea. But now, I've changed my mind.

With advances in technology, such as the introduction of Skype, Oovoo, Twitter, and other social messaging sites, long distance relationships don't seem like much of a hassle anymore. If anything, they're learning experiences. 

Lessons learned from long distance relationships include patience, loyalty, compromise, sacrifice, and many more. While those characteristics are necessary in any relationship, but when you don't have the ability to see your partner every day, or even every month, you have to amplify them. 

Though people cheat, it's easier to be loyal when you're around your boyfriend or girlfriend at least once a week, but can you imagine the level of loyalty and trust you must have if you're in California and your boyfriend or girlfriend moves to London. Of  course giving time and attention is simple if your partner is only a short drive away, but can you imagine the sacrifices that must be made if you two reside in different time zones. That missed phone call or Skype call, could have been the last chance you had to talk to that person.

It sounds hard, but remember, long distance relationships are built on hope. Hopes that one day you'll get to see the person you've spent countless hours on the phone with face to face. And when that happens, you hope that the spark in your heart grows into a flame. You hope that you're the last voice they hear before they sleep, and the first they think of when they wake up. If a long distance relationship was a car, hope would be the fuel that keeps it going. 

I met a guy (let's call him John) in June of 2011; we exchanged numbers, small chit-chat, and not much else. Soon after that, the conversations got longer, and more in depth. I learned things about John and he learned things about me; we began studying each other, trying to get to know each other, learning something different with each conversation. It's soon to be June of 2013, and John and I are still going strong. Here's the catch: he's in Atlanta; but I feel just as close to him as I do with my closest friends. We talk, text, and Skype almost everyday; still learning every piece of each other.

We aren't an official "item," what I like to call it is "potential." I'm visiting Atlanta in the summer and moving there in the fall. If John isn't my boyfriend when I move, at least I know I have a best friend when I get there. 
<![CDATA[Love: My Opinion]]>Wed, 15 May 2013 21:45:26 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/05/love-my-opinion.htmlPicture
by Eli A.

Love is something that you cannot see. It is something you feel, but not physically. It’s really an emotion.

Love is really when you are past liking something or someone. It is a higher level of a relationship. When you are really in love you like the person for who they are and you are able to compromise with them. Also you feel good when you are with them; basically, you want to spend time with them because you feel good in their company.

When you only like that person for the material things that they have you are not in love with them, you might be in love with what they own. But most likely you just like what they own and are willing to take advantage of them or their feelings to get what you want.

You can love someone that you do not want to be in a relationship with; like a friend, but you do not have any interest in being intimate with them. Then there’s love of a hobby, usually that means that you would always be happy doing that thing no matter when.

If you love someone you can usually do a lot of things with them and it will seem more fun or better because they are there. The funny thing about an emotion is that it can change in so many ways. Everyone experiences emotions differently, and for different reasons.

If you and someone both love eachother, you will have a great time together. It doesn’t matter if you have disagreements or argue, the thing that does matter is whether or not you are able to compromise and forgive afterwards. The level of love you have for someone or something can change over time, and that is normal and necessary for people to move on.

If you love somebody and don’t feel they show love back, just remember that love can come from anywhere, and you can get over anything or anyone you loved. There will always be more people or things you can love or who can love you.
<![CDATA[Healthy vs. Unhealthy]]>Mon, 06 May 2013 20:55:26 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/05/healthy-vs-unhealthy.htmlPicture
by Chris B.

To me, a Healthy relationship is not only when one person loves and cares for their mate, but when the feeling is mutual. It’s when someone can point at their boyfriend or girlfriend and be proud to say that they date that person. When someone says the word love I just start thinking about cute pictures on FaceBook of couples wearing matching clothes and making kissy faces to each other. Or when you see a screenshot of a sweet message that one sent to the other. Some people that go to my school say that a healthy relationship is when they don't have a problem with money. I have had healthy relationships without spending 1 dollar or having to ask one another for money.

I would like a healthy relationship to be cute, sweet, loyal, truthful, and respectful. Growing up, I honestly never seen a “healthy” relationship because my parents split up when I was very young. Because of my environment, I witnessed a lot of “unhealthy” relationships.

Right now I am in a relationship with a girl that means the complete world to me. She always makes me happy and smile. Knowing that she loves me feels unimaginable, sometimes I think to myself “Why me?”  She can have any man that she desires but yet she’s with me, I guess I should just be happy that I’m the man that she thinks about and talks to before she goes to bed.

She told me that she’ll always be by my side but theres no way of telling if she is being honest or not. I hope she is, I promised her that I will take her on a romantic date one day. She asked me what type of romantic date? Of course I had to tell her but all I said was that in the morning I would take her to dennys and get a good breakfast, then I will take her to the movies during the day, after that I’ll take her to go watch the sunset at Alameda beach and we’ll just end the day like that.

I am very lucky to have her she gives me the confidence to do my homework and to do good in school. I know I can do that all by myself but with her confidence I feel like I can achieve more. Meeting her is the best thing that has happened to me lately, she has been a real influence in my life and I appreciate everything she does for me.

Most girls don't fit my standards but she is just perfect. She is all i want and all i need. She is the most talented girl I have ever met. I just feel very happy to call her MINE. She says that i'm the best thing to ever happen to her and I believe her. My brother always told me not to fall in love because love will make you do crazy things. I think he was right, and it’s okay.
<![CDATA[Statement of Wellness]]>Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:09:35 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/04/statement-of-wellness.htmlPicture

By Derick C.

On March 20th, 2013 the Health Department interns presented their statements of wellness.  Wellness means to take responsibility for the quality of one’s life.  A statement of wellness could be a speech/poem, however you would like to express your opinion of wellness.  Many people had different ways that they expressed their meaning of wellness.  Some expressed it in video, some expressed it in words, the point is they showed their way of wellness.  Some people felt that writing helps express your feelings so that you won’t lash out on others, which could portray the opposite of wellness.  

Physical wellness is important in the workforce because if you have any physical disabilities you may be limited to do certain things.  Intellectual wellness is important in the workforce because if you don’t elaborate your mind then your mind won’t grow and you won’t  be open to learning new things. Examples of emotional wellness include being self-confidence, trustworthy, self-control etc.  Social Wellness is a big one.  Being socially well means you have the ability to cooperate with others and be productive with them, not causing any casualties.  Spiritual wellness has to do with being able to take a break if you are overwhelmed.  If you feel that you have trouble coping with a situation, take a couple minutes to meditate and breathe.  Occupational wellness doesn’t only include having a job, it means you are satisfied with what you do and enjoy building strong relationships with co-workers as well as avoiding gossip about co-workers to create a stronger environment.  A lot of people should really think about environmental wellness.  

As many think it just means taking care of the environment and not polluting the environment, it also could refer to pollution by gangs, drugs, poverty, etc.  All of the interns including these types of wellness in their statement, and I applaud them for doing so.          
<![CDATA[Gender Roles]]>Tue, 12 Mar 2013 22:01:13 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/03/gender-roles.htmlPicture

By Eli A.

The world is sexist. Period. Nah, but for real people judge each other for any reason, and one of those things is gender. There are so many double standards, not to mention assumptions that people make. For example, men are expected to hold the door and pay for dinner, but really if people want equality people should take turns.

It’s strange to me the same women who expect men to do stuff for them, wouldn’t return the favor. They want to have equal rights to men, such as getting payed the same amount.

Also, there are some things that women and men can and can’t do. For instance, if a female sleeps around she is considered a hoe, but if a man does the same thing he is considered a player or complimented for it. There is hella media that banks on the fact that women are expected by society to make themselves look “better”. What I mean is, you really don’t see men buying things like makeup, but there are thousands of things they sell to women to make them look “better”.

There’s double standards to just about everything, for instance if a man hits a woman he is going to be called out for it. Everyone is going to say he is a terrible person, but if a woman hits a man a lot of people will be like, well he probably did something to deserve it. Men are considered terrible for hitting a women, where if a woman does it she doesn’t get nearly as much hate.

There are lots of things that segregate the different genders when kids are still little. For instance, when there are little kids a lot of adults tell the boys to play with trucks and building things. However, they turn around and tell the girls to play with dolls, making the girls automatically fit into the stereotype of the stay at home mothers, since they are trained to take care of a kid when they are little. The boys have toys that promote physical labor and construction which make them start to think they should do physical labor. This is why most people think men can do things like lifting and that women are weak.

I also think religion makes it seem that men are better since most of the stories have men doing great things and not too many great women. Throughout history men have been the leaders, and women have never really had power so equality for sexes is really a rather new idea in terms of how people think about it and think that it can actually be true.

Overall, there are many things that I think should be changed, and they are not going to change all by themselves. We need to do something about it. I think one way we can make a change is by treating people in a way we want to be treated. Also we should think about what we do and how other people would feel about it. For instance a girl would not want a man to expect them to always pay or open a door, and a man would not want a woman to expect them to always try to impress them with makeup.
<![CDATA[When Its All Over]]>Wed, 06 Mar 2013 22:53:22 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/03/when-its-all-over.htmlPicture
By: Alexis T.

So Alicia Keys released her CD “Girl On Fire” and there’s ONE song I like on the CD, “When Its All Over.” I like the song mainly because of the beat, and also the meaning. She is basically saying when the world is over at least she’s got to love and care for that person.

"When they lay me down/Put my soul to rest/When they ask me how I spent my life At least I got to love you When it's all over When it's all said and done."

If you think about it and actually listen to the song it helps a lot in relationships. For example, if you loved your partner and you guys broke up and you want to think about it in a good way, this song is a perfect example it makes you feel happy that you guys went separate ways because when its all over your going to to sit there and think about everything yall went through its gonna dawn on you like well at least i got to love him, at least i know what real love feels like just because that person was in your life.

During her interview with Cynthia McFallen she said the song is beautiful and thats it remembered  her of her son & husband because one of the the verses says “When they lay me down, put my soul to rest, When they ask me how I spent my life, At least I got to love you, when it's all over, When it's all said and done, when it's all over, At least I got to love you, at least I got to love you”  and thats exactly how she’s feels when she thinks of her husband & son.

I understand where she’s coming from when she saying it rings a bell towards her child and husband, for reason everytime i listen to this song i feel in a better mood starting to feel butterflies in my stomach and it makes me happy so its a good feeling when you listen to that song and what’s better than your son & husband.

<![CDATA[For the Love of Money ]]>Thu, 21 Feb 2013 20:24:30 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/02/for-the-love-of-money.htmlPicture
by Jahlil J.

I want to start off by saying that money is a very essential thing in life, which is something that most people fail  to realize. I hate when folks say cliches such as "money is the root of all evil" or "money isn't everything." Though I can kinda agree with the last statement, comments of that nature bring me to ask questions like “without money how would you eat? How would you provide shelter for yourself? How would you be able to afford basic things a person needs like shoes and clothes?”.

In my opinion there is just NO possible way for one to survive in this world without money, unless they resort to illegal activities, and we all know people that are into illegal things never get too far until they're caught up. I feel if a person just sits for awhile and thinks about how important money really is i believe things would be quite different.

However; I definitely wouldn't say that money is the most important thing in the whole world, but it's most definitely a major factor when it comes to this thing called life.

Think about it, without money the world would be non-existent as well as the people would be. Also another thing people should know about is the fact that our economy is horrible, you pretty much have to have quite a bit of money rolling in so that you'll be able to live comfortably let alone live lavishly. In conclusion, my opinion is that people should realize how important money is, instead of making negative comments about something we couldn't live without.
<![CDATA[Treat Your Body Like a Temple]]>Thu, 21 Feb 2013 20:12:31 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/02/treat-your-body-like-a-temple.htmlPicture
by Kailynn S.

Sex can be a beautiful thing, but as soon as you make the mistake of not using protection, it may ruin your life forever . Protection, such as condoms, can prevent EVERYTHING a teenager might not want. These things could include everything from a child to a sexually transmitted infection.

In my opinion, teens today don't quite understand how important using a condom is, and how they can save your life. Making the right decision ahead of time is better than ending up with a child that you might not be able to provide for or an infection or disease that you can't get rid of. Health care centers are helping teens understand the importance of protecting themselves. They provide information about "Safe Sex" and how to prevent the contraction and spread of STDs. Next to advice from a mother, father, or guardian, these centers are very helpful.

I believe it is very important for teens to know how and why being safe while having sex is important because lives can actually be ruined. Life is a good thing, and I think living it the safe wayis the right way. Making the right choices as a teenager shows a level of self-respect, wisdom, and maturity. If more teenagers actually knew how important their bodies were and how to go about making the right choices, 2012 could have been a year of less teen mothers and teen fathers.

So lets make a change by reaching out to teenagers who actually need help. We also need to educate those who need to know more about not only having a healthy life, but a safe one as well.
<![CDATA[Taking the TDV Proclomation to the Board]]>Thu, 14 Feb 2013 20:23:48 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/02/taking-the-tdv-proclomation-to-the-board.htmlPicture
by Rayana Godfrey 

On Tuesday, Caroline Miller, along with Youth Radio and other Youth Relationship Alliance partners, proclaimed February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. The proclamation took place at the Alameda County Board of Supervisors meeting. Though the meeting was relatively small, the events that took place were monumental for teens and adults.

February being recognized as TDV Awareness and Prevention Month is a big step in the right direction. Teen Dating Violence is a very serious topic, and should be addressed at such. For people working in the MATTER program at Youth Radio, their main duty is to promote healthy relationships. If young people understand that teen relationship abuse is a serious and tragic reality, then why shouldn't the rest of the world?

People may think they have an idea of what’s going on with teenagers and relationships. They see young couples holding hands and smiling and they think everything is perfect. What’s possibly behind those smiles would probably shock a lot of people. Out of many of the teen dating violence statistics, what’s most shocking is that “one in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner,” and this abuse can start as early as the 7th grade.

What’s even more saddening is that the “side-effects” of dating violence can be long-lasting. An abusive relationship today can be the reason why a teenager starts using illegal substances, develops an eating disorder, or even turns to a life of crime down the line. In other cases, they turn to suicide. It’s disheartening to know that young people are taking their own lives because there’s little help offered to them. These are lives that could be saved and hearts that can be healed; however, people just aren't aware.

Because of teen’s desire for confidentiality and misunderstanding of the judicial system, they don’t speak up as they should. Only 33% of young people who found themselves in abusive relationships said anything about it. With February proclaimed as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, that will hopefully change. Realistically, we know every abused teen will not come at once to share their story, but at least now they know people are here to listen. Not only is it TDV Awareness and Prevention Month, but it’s also a platform for teens to be heard and saved.
<![CDATA[FriENDs]]>Thu, 14 Feb 2013 01:27:36 GMThttp://www.bom411.com/1/post/2013/02/friends.htmlPicture
By: Raven T.      

       It’s sad to say that not all friendships last forever, and forever doesn't last at all. But what I will say is that friendships can teach you a lot about yourself and help you figure out what you want and need out of life. Judging from my last 3 years in High school, my past experiences with “friends” has been completely jacked up! Most of the people I considered a friend wasn't really acting like one. Then again, everyone’s definition of a friend is not always the same.

            As a Sophomore, I was moved from San Leandro to Oakland and had to transfer schools. I knew I would have to be around people that I knew nothing about because San Leandro and Oakland are two completely different atmospheres. It was extremely difficult for me. After making a friends at my new school, I had started dating this guy that was friends with the same exact people I had began to become friends with and that’s when things changed for me. People had began to stop talking to me because they felt since I had a boyfriend I would start neglecting them when they had started neglecting me. All but one person had stopped talking to me which is STILL my friend to this day. At first, I felt like it was all my fault for why  I didn't have the same friends I started. I even started to question if I ever had the ability to keep a friend. As things went on, things in my life started changing. I had to learn the hard way that friends come and go.